1000 Strands

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Posts Tagged ‘food’

Sex is like a soufflé

Posted by Nicole on February 26, 2014

http://www.zencancook.com

http://www.zencancook.com

Sex is like a souffle. A souffle is complicated and unique. It is difficult to get it to finish well. It takes preparation and forethought. You cannot be distracted or have your mind on something else while you are cooking a souffle. Use just the right ingredients at just the right temperatures. Beat and whip, but not too much. Fold and test until everything is perfect.  Practice. Know your oven and test the temperature. Keep trying. It’s worth it – for the enjoyment, taste, and accomplishment.

You are not a hot pocket.

You are a souffle.

http://scienceblogs.com/startswithabang/2009/05/20/the-physics-of-hot-pockets/

http://scienceblogs.com/startswithabang/2009/05/20/the-physics-of-hot-pockets/

Your body is not a package of fake meat and cheese (even if it feels like it some days) that you throw in a microwave oven, and it’s done in 3 minutes.  You are a souffle that takes time and practice and love to prepare. You don’t make a souffle because you are hungry right now. You make a souffle for the love of cooking something special.

 

If you are treating sex like a hot pocket meal, you are not doing it right.

People treat sex like “I wanna do it and you should wanna do it with me too”… “I have this need and I am gonna use you to fill it”… “Hungry. Need hot pocket.” 

Instead of treating sex like the deepest, sweetest, most liberating and fun conversation EVER.  If we spent time preparing ourselves and each other FOR each other, we would have a much better meal.  We wonder why we don’t want to have sex… but it is because we think it is a 3 minute heat up and BAM we are aroused and then orgasm and then done.  That’s just not how it was made to be – believe it or not.

 

We put more care into preparing a presentation at work or an outfit for an interview than we do for sex.

We put more care into thinking through why someone did or did not call us back than we do for sex.

We put more care and consideration into the paint color on the wall than we do for sex.

We put more care and heart into a conversation with a friend than we do for sex.

 

And then we wonder why we don’t want to have sex.

 

Why are some things worth the work and other things not??  Usually because we don’t understand what we will get out of the other things. We know what we can get out of a good job interview or a great color on our walls or a conversation with a friend.  But, honestly, what will you get out of sex except a little friction and connection and a few guilt-free days after…??

So so so so so much more. There is a wealth of love, depth, and pleasure that our bodies are made for and we have ignored out of fear and confusion.  There is a conversation full of nuance and care, adventure and learning, that we can have with our bodies – if we are willing to go at the right pace and with good preparation.

You are a souffle. You are meant to be enjoyed and savored, folded, kneeded, and delighted over.

If you are thinking you are a hot pocket (or being treated like one) of course you don’t want to have sex. If you put the ingredients for a souffle in the microwave, that would not turn out delicious. You would still be hungry.

Take the time to learn how to prepare yourself and your spouse. Take the time to learn your own favorite ingredients and JUST how to fold, kneed, and heat.  Actually finishing the meal is just punctuation at the end of a sentence you’ve been writing all along.

Rebel against the must-get-it-done push in our lives and go slow. Ask questions.  You CAN learn to enjoy your own body – married or not. Your body is not just utilitarian – it is beautiful, graceful, delightful, strong, receptive.  

 

((Full disclosure, I don’t love women-as-food metaphors… so forgive me if it offends your value as a woman. I just believe we forget the kind of preparation we are willing to put into other things because we don’t understand the goodness of sex.  You are way more than a souffle, Sister. ))

Posted in Love and Making It | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Take Care of You

Posted by Nicole on January 10, 2014

It’s time to TAKE CARE OF YOU.

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When I was training for my half marathon (that phrase still makes me laugh, it still seems preposterous, but I did it)….

When I was training for my half marathon, I ate whatever I wanted.  I needed fuel! If I was hungry after a run and wanted In n Out, no problem!  If it was 10p and I was starving, absolutely I could eat some delicious Honey Bunches of Oats (with almonds!).

Then, I ran the race in December!! It was amazing. I’ll tell you all about it soon.

And I just kept on eating in the days after the race too. Want pizza for dinner? Right on! Let’s do it.  It’s almost Christmas; let’s have pie!

Now, it’s been a full month AFTER the race and it’s time to get my act together. My body needs some anti-running exercise. My body needs some lighter food. My skin needs some winter care.  I’ve gotten so lazy after the exertion of the race that I don’t even like brushing my teeth.

Can you relate? You probably didn’t run a half-marathon. (Why would a sane person do that?)  But, you probably have some kind of whole food / walk everyday / drink a smoothie for breakfast / P90x / brush your teeth 2x’s a day ….. kind of goal for this month. Let’s do it together.

To quote one of my favorite movie lines ever; it’s time to “TAKE CARE OF YOU!”

It doesn’t have to be anything big. Small things can change your life.  I will bring you my favorite food, self-care tips and products, and exercise plans both here on the blog and on my Pinterest Boards.  Bring me yours too!

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Today’s Take Care of You TIP:

While I was running every day, I needed more food (thus all the eating) and I was finally brave enough to try Greek Yogurt. You may be way ahead of me on this but OH it’s awesome! If you like yogurt AT ALL, do not be scared to eat Greek Yogurt.

It has way more protein than regular yogurt and I find the consistency fluffier and more indulgent too.

Mix in all kinds of things.  I get the plain yogurt and add a little sweetness with the add-ons. Also, I cannot tell the difference between the 2% and the 0% fat so pick whichever makes you feel better about yourself.

My favorites toppings: sliced almonds and dried cranberries (since it is winter) but I bet fresh berries will be perfect in the summer.  I also like to use granola and chia seeds (they taste like nothing and have great nutrition, just ignore the fact that they look like tiny alien eggs).  Go crazy.

This was my breakfast today.

Greek yogurt with granola and dried berries

Greek yogurt with granola and dried berries

 

This year, be a good parent to yourself. Be consistent. Keep your promises. Lavish love. Make good food. Laugh.

Posted in Healthy You | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

What are you hungry for?

Posted by Nicole on February 1, 2013

Hi Friends!

 

So I started asking myself, “What do I want in life?”

The answer that came back immediately …

“Coffee, please.”

“Maybe also a chocolate chip cookie and a long nap too.”

 

On one hand, that’s lovely and simple.

On the other hand…  That’s all I want out of LIFE?  Really? That’s it?! That’s just kinda sad.

That’s what I define as an attainable wish.

 

Somewhere in me is a quiet, desperate whisper for more.

 

There’s got to be more to life than the wish for a few sensory comforts, right?  Something real, big, energizing.

The little whisper for real meaning and purpose is so, so quiet most of the time and the longing for comfort and pleasure is oh, so loud: I want it!  I want it!  I want chocolate!  I want a nap!  I want quiet and time to myself!  I want pizza and diet coke and cookies and warm donuts and a margarita (together or separate – I’ll take ’em how I can get ’em)!

If I am not careful to pay attention to my true desires, i will

live from numbing agent to numbing agent trying to escape the boredom, sadness, isolation or frustration  – and when I am not doing that I am using those same things numbers to celebrate or care for myself.

I’ve been asking myself those hard questions you have to ask, if you ever want to change. What do I actually really want?

“What’s the thing behind the thing?” – Rob Bell

I want to feel good. Do you know what feels good?  To eat and drink until you are so full you just need to sleep. aaahhh!  You can then curl up and take a nap or watch a wonderfully mindless TV show and forget everything but that heavy, sweet, full feeling.

To put it simply: I want to feel full.

We all want to feel full… fulfilled.  I do not like emptiness. I do not want to have a longing in my gut that continues to get my attention and demand I do something about it.  I have mistaken that longing for a solely physical hunger for far too long. It is a spiritual, physical and psychological need and I cannot separate them. Deep down, I actually want to find fulfillment for my whole self and I am settling for just a physical sedation.

Until I stop stuffing the pipes with doughy goodness, I will never make room for the other good stuff to pour into my life. Until I change and upgrade my goals from “avoiding hunger and finding sugary carbohydrates,” I will never have enough energy or drive to pursue bigger and better things.

I MUST DEFINE NEW GOALS based on my deeper desires.

What do I do when I have a free hour?  If my goal is comfort and food (my normal), I eat some sugar and take a nap. If my goal is health, I workout and dance and eat vegetables and fruit.  My goals define how I spend my time. So, until I change my goals, I will not change my habits and actions.  And until I actually want those goals more than I want the items I am addicted to and my old ways, I will never change.  I have to let the hunger remain so I can FEEL what I am really hungry for — not just healthy food but a more purposeful life.

I was made for more!

 

Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.”

I want to be more than sugar and sleep.  That’s what I repeatedly do.

I WANT to be vibrant, powerful, loving, healthy and really ALIVE.
If I really mean that, then it’s time to repeatedly DO vibrant, powerful, loving things.

There are deeply-set reasons I have learned to settle, though, as I am sure there are lots of reasons we ALL settle: I am overwhelmed with the demands of family, kids, work, school… “Adult Life”.  So, I dull the pain. I fill the void as quickly and easily as I can.

I give my tired soul a quick fix.

The quick fix doesn’t last, though, and I am quickly empty again. This can’t continue.

It’s time to start a life... to let the emptiness linger so I can feel what I really desire. Desire. Hunger.

What do I want out of life?  I have to shut the quick answers up so I can hear that slow, quiet whisper in my heart… what do I really want out of life? What am I here for? (Because I don’t think I am here JUST to eat cookies.)  If I can’t hear the whisper, I will never learn what my new goals need to be and I will never change my habits.

I have to end the cycle and feel the hunger.

I. Do. Not. Want. To.

But, I get the feeling I will never want to. Ever.  So I better be my own parent and just cut myself off. Give myself a time out. Go to my room. And think about why I did what I did. Why I do what I do.

On my timeout, I will wait for the whisper. I will let the waves of cravings move on past. And I will wait for the real desires to rise to the surface. They’ve been buried a long time. This may take a bit… and I pray I can hold out, because I am seriously getting my hopes up that it might actually be worth it. I think it’ll be worth it. I was made for more than I am living for.

What about you?

-Nicole

Posted in Free Flying Faith, Healthy You, Wonderful Wrestlings | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Let’s Celebrate Life

Posted by Nicole on January 31, 2013

When you go to Disneyland, you can ask for a big button to wear all day. It will say “It’s My Birthday!” or “Let’s Celebrate!”  And you can fill in your name underneath or write what you are celebrating: “Anniversary” or “Graduation”. Then everyone who works at Disneyland will see your button and comment and welcome you.

“Happy Birthday, Princess!”

“Happy Anniversary!”

We live near Disneyland and go often.  The other day my little girls and I were walking through the huge plaza full of people as another woman walking towards us caught my eye.  She wore a “Let’s Celebrate” pin, crew-neck t-shirt, big white sneakers and high-waisted shorts;  Typical, comfy, I’m on vacation from rural (fill in a state) attire.  I always think about the people at Disneyland as they walk past us. Is this their first time?  Are they spending 3 years’ savings to make these memories with their families at Disneyland?  What’s her story?

Then, as this particular woman moved nearer to us, I looked closely at her button and saw that it said “Let’s Celebrate… LIFE.” Instantly, all the details I had subconsciously noticed about her came into focus:  Comfy clothes. Thin, short, newly-grown-in gray hair. Pale and slightly puffy face…  New cancer survivor. Laughing with her friends. Walking through the Disneyland plaza. Celebrating LIFE.  Smiling at me as she passed.  She’s on a LIFE.

 

Life.  I want to be on a LIFE. Let’s celebrate… LIFE.

“Happy LIFE, Princess!”

 

So, step one of going on a LIFE – what that woman in big, white sneakers and high-waisted shorts wore all over her gorgeous face: Gratitude. For Everything. For Life Itself.

(pause.)

Gratitude.  It only happens in this exact moment.

 

What makes a LIFE? How does a person permanently change, ditch the Die ette, find gratitude, or even choose a new path without using fear, peer pressure, strict rules, pre-made meals, a personal trainer and a nanny?  How do we combine all the things we currently want into one nice life where everything fits and we’re happy about it?

LIFE is in our habits. In the moment-to-moment choices. This is who we are. Whether it’s what we eat, watch, say, do… We ARE our little decisions. It’s so hard to celebrate life when our little choices keep veering off course.  It’s so hard to feel really alive when my little choices – my little steps – keep taking me further away from the life I want. Do you ever feel that way?  You want something so much and yet you continue to take little, tiny steps away?

This is why DIE-ettes don’t help. They are temporary black & white fixes to life-long, complex issues and goals.

I am done pushing and striving to follow a short-term, fix-me-quick die-ette. Spending so much time researching, trying, failing, being on day 3 for the 100th time, judging results … I am looking down and forgetting to look up with gratitude.   Gratitude that I am alive.

Now, I am done with DIE-ettes BUT the issue is still here. I am still not living Life to the fullest, healthiest, most vibrant standards and I know it because I feel conflicted. I want things that contradict each other.  I want pizza and a flat tummy. I want a deep connection to God and to watch The Bachelor.

This year I am going to get deep down in this messy little spirit and body of mine and try to get to the HEART of why I choose little DIE-ettes instead of LIFE.  I am going to stop surviving and start living.

Will you join me?  Whether you read this today or a year from when I’ve written these words, I am throwing out a strand your way.  Grab hold. Let’s go on a LIFE.

Posted in Free Flying Faith, Healthy You | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Stop the DIE-ette (diet) and Go on a Life

Posted by Nicole on January 30, 2013

Diet. Die.

“This diet makes me want to die.” “I’d rather live fat and happy than die skinny and miserable.”

Have you ever heard someone say something similar?

DIE ette: A little death. I am on a diet… I am dying a little bit every minute I am on this DIE-ette.

A diet used to simply be what someone or something ate regularly. A lizard eats a diet of crickets.  A koala eats a diet of eucalyptus.   Mythological super models eat a diet of champagne and cotton balls. I eat a diet of coffee, chocolate covered almonds, and pizza interspersed with meals of kale and chia seeds. (balance, People, balance.)  This kind of diet is FACT. It’s what I actually eat.

Then, there’s the DIE-ette. The one that kills your soul and sometimes your body a little each day.  This is the strict, short-term list of rules that You or Slimquick or the 4 Hour Somebody or Fruitarians United have decided you should eat.

I am suffocating under the conflicting Die-ettes I should be on. I don’t want to be on a DIE-ette. I want to be on a LIFE.

I WANT TO BE ON A LIFE.  Hear me?!

Do you want to be on a life too?

People go on diets together all the time. Let’s go on a Life together. We will start tomorrow. But for real this time.

Let's go on a life!

Let’s go on a life!

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Swag n Stuff – Best Shape of My Life

Posted by Nicole on January 31, 2012

I’m in the best shape of my life as I write this to you. I am glistening with sweat – my abs hard and my hair somehow still voluminous and sea-breeze blown.  I’m enjoying eating a kale, chia seed salad and drinking a room-temperature glass of lemon water.

…Not really. Not ever. That’s not true.

I’ve been better than I am today, though… God knows. He knows. I’ve. Been. Better.

When I was in the best shape of my life, I actually got there after a 6 week diet and exercise bootcamp.

My abs have never actually been what other people would call “hard” or “fit” but I did have an actual waist. I was smaller at my belly button than at my boobs. It happened.

Funny thing. I thought I was changing for good… Forever. I thought I would never be the same after that bootcamp — I gave it a big push and worked hard.

I was proud. I had swag. Confidence. My hair bounced like you wish yours did.

New, baby, beginning habits were formed. I studied and gained knowledge. I set goals. I learned Right from Wrong (the capital letter kind of right and wrong).

Then, slowly, I made exceptions and had set backs… temptations… and celebrations… Consolations.

And now, I am my old, normal self again. The one who is a slave. A slave to destructive habits of comfort, indulgence, addiction, and doughy pizza. (oh, pizza… you abuse me and I like it)

Part of me still knows eating and laying around don’t lead to a healthy, vibrant life … but that part can’t convince the rest of the parts to get it together again.

Here’s why… That part knows it’s a forever decision this time. That big push.. Bootcamp… Diet…DIE-ette…  it was short. It had a deadline. It was temporary. Now ALL of me knows success takes a forever commitment. And I don’t want to forever commit.

But if I want to really live… if my goals are health, energy, that elusive waist, shiny hair, confidence and swag into my 60s and 70s… then I must change my daily habits and I must change them forever. Everyday is a second chance at success. Why am I choosing failure when success is an option (thanks Jillian Michaels for the catchy shame-phrase)? Why do we do that?  (Or is it just me?)

I am in some of the most jiggly shape of my life as I sit here and write to you. It happens. Things get jiggly. I am still beautiful (I’ll say it til I believe it). I just don’t have any clothes that fit and I spend my days dreaming of the next sugary and/or salty, doughy and/or crunchy bite to satisfy my endless, black hole-like cravings.  I am a slave to those cravings and it must stop.

Are you a slave to something? A craving? Addiction? Behavior you wish you could just stop?  Grab on. This train is leaving. We are leaving this place of hopelessness and droopy souls.

Wanna join me?  No more DIE-ettes. We are starting a life.

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