All throughout October I am participating in the Write 31 Days blogging challenge. For 31 days straight I will be writing daily on: LOVE & MAKING IT.
If you are new here, I often talk about Beautyand Sex, Bravery and New Perspectives. My passion is to talk about passion – the lack or the abundance – and if we can have 31 straight days of inspiration and conversation around sex… then EVERYONE WINS!
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{We are up and running… here’s a few of the posts in the series if you’d like to jump on in. You can always click on the LOVE AND MAKING IT link at the top to see all posts under that topic, as well.}
We think we have to love our bodies in order to really enjoy sex. But…
What if we had sex in order to enjoy our bodies?
What if our marriage {bed} could be the place where we bring our whole selves, without fear or pretense, to experience freedom, fun, excitement, healing, passion, and beauty… LIFE to the Fullest?
What if you were allowed to feel beautiful in bed?
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My hope is that by the end of October, we will all have 31 reminders about why God gave us bodies… and we’ll know better how to use them for GOOD.
Single?
Married?
Male?
Female?
Everyone is welcome.
Have questions about sex that you want me to address?
Tweet me: @nicoletteromero
There’s just something good about being able to talk about anything without shame or guilt. There’s just something good about being proud of the BODY + SOUL you’ve got. There’s just something extra good about finding new ways to love and make it with your beloved. Let’s talk about all that and more.
Come back everyday in October for inspiration on Love and Making It.
What do you do when your dreams come true?
What do you do when your dreams are controversial?
(This post is all about me, but I hope it is somehow all about you too.)
Ten years ago, I said I would speak from my heart on stage about God and life and love. My dream was to preach. It was something that sparked in me and would not let go. This summer I did just that.
You could say that I lived my dream years ago at my first speaking “engagement” or the first class I ever taught. There have been people who noticed and believed in me for years that gave me chances to learn and grow.
My dream of speaking words shaped like keys that unlock cages for the people who listen, has been coming true for years.
But this summer, there was a moment that checked all the dream criteria boxes and felt like a graduation to a new place.
This tiny girl preached in the main church service. It was no big deal to the millions and billions of people who went about their days ignorant of the fact that Life was blowing my mind… but for me, this was a huge deal.
See, I believe in a world where each voice matters. I believe in a world where men can learn from women and women learn from men (and men learn from men and women learn from women too – to be fair) regardless of race, height, income, or education. I believe in a multifaceted God who needs to be described from different angles by people gifted with a talent and the determination to speak in the open. But not everyone believes this.
I believe in a multifaceted God who needs to be described from different angles
by people gifted with a talent and the determination
to speak in the open.
So, I quietly paid attention for years and discovered that I have a deep love of God and of teaching and of speaking out loud about Him. I paid attention to the ways people responded when they didn’t worry what the rules were about who was allowed to learn from whom or what other people thought. I paid attention to where the love and deep learning took me… then, I took a position as a full-time pastor…
and for now, it all led me here
To where this tiny, female human, with nothing and everything to gain by preaching about Jesus, began preaching about Jesus; not just to women but to men too.
See, I know there are verses in the Bible that say I “shouldn’t” talk in church or teach men about God. I get it. I see those words too. I also know that the Bible is a HARD book and one that requires pausing and breathing and studying before we take it at face value. The words in it are tricky. They are also life. Life is tricky. We are in this together.
Men, you deserve to know ALL of God that you can…
Women, you deserve to know ALL of God that you can…
When little girls preach, a new thing happens. I cannot teach you ALL about God, but I sure can surprise you with new facets to Him. .. because, I am Me and I get to see different parts than you do. The more varied voices we hear about God, the more dynamic our understanding of Him.
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I started getting really nervous the week before I was to preach, so I reached out to Rachel Held Evans for ideas on how to lovingly explain to people that hearing a woman speak about God is a GOOD thing.
Here’s what she said:
And I am so grateful for this.
Because that week before I spoke, people began to ask me if I was grateful… not just, was I grateful to be speaking or have this job or get to share in front of lots of people. What they meant was, “Aren’t you grateful that you, a female, are being allowed to speak in the main service at a Christian church?”
And my answer was complicated but simple.
YES.
Of course I am. Anyone who teaches or speaks on a stage better be grateful and humbled by the responsibility of that assignment – no matter how much fun it is or how true to their heart’s calling.
I am grateful.
I am grateful because each time someone “unexpected” does well in a calling like this, another chance opens up for someone else just waiting for their dream to come true. It cracks the door open. (How am I unexpected? I am both female and 5′ tall. This makes me an unlikely Pastor.)
I am always grateful for a chance to teach. Always. It’s like being a dancer or a singer (neither of which can I do in this same way). It’s an art and a flowing of spirit through a human that is just intangibly awesome.
I am grateful because I have two daughters. I cannot survive raising them to believe their freedom story and the ways God moves in them are lesser because of their gender. The best way to teach them is to believe it about myself.
I am grateful because I expect this next generation of girls to be one of the biggest blessings to the earth we have ever seen. The GLORY that will come from having both men and women allowed to light the world with God’s loving words and Spirit will be breathtaking.
I am grateful for a chance to step into the arena in my own way and fight for their voices to matter too.
I am grateful just for my own sake. There is nothing like doing the thing you feel is your purpose.
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On 1000 Strands, I don’t usually write this autobiographically – or at least, not without the glorious shelter of metaphors, but in the last six months I have stepped out of my old arenas and into some new ones as a pastor and I want to include you in my history. This is not a political story. This is a personal story of one person being called to something and working hard at it… we are tempted to make a personal story into a political one because we can explain those away. Resist.
Any of you who feel called to express the glory of LIFE through your story: speaking, pastoring, art, creativity, writing… DO IT. Come with me. My story is small, but it’s mine and I will make it a skeleton key for you as best I can.
Thanks for listening. I am grateful.
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If you are struggling specifically with women as pastors and preachers, please take a look at these references and feel free to talk to me about this. (FYI- I will not tolerate hate or belittling but I love discussing anything that brings freedom and a bigger sense of God).
Love and Making It in Spring session is over… but we have something hot coming this summer.
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Love and Making It – All Women – July 1st {single, married, don’t matter}
Love and Making It – For Couples – June 21st {for both partners to do together}
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Listen. We are bombarded with sights and sounds that tell us we are just not good enough and neither is our spouse. Let’s rebel against all of those messages together.
Let Love and Making It give you hope and show you the beauty you already have inside AND out – whether you are single or married.
If you are married, let Love and Making It help you and your spouse find the fun and desire and communication skills to really take your sex life to the next level.
Interested? Let us know. We are want to start a revolution… a rebellion… where all the people who thought they were disqualified from the “good” or “sexy” or “beautiful” life ALL get together and say, “Starting TODAY we are making new rules.”
We can show you how. This is about us choosing ourselves because it’s just a total waste to let one more day go by feeling bad about any of it.
Sign up to be the first to hear more info on classes and for a few inspirational words to make tomorrow even better than today.
(your time is precious. I have over 50,000 unread emails in my personal email from unnecessary things I signed up for. The emails you get from 1,000 Strands will be infrequent and useful and your information will be private)
THIS IS THE POST FOR OUR SPRING CLASS BUT IT’LL GIVE YOU MORE OF AN IDEA OF WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT… KEEP READING.
I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees. – Pablo Neruda
LOVE and MAKING IT in Spring
(If you already know you are ready to join us, scroll to the bottom to sign up now.)
It’s time, my friend. It’s time for a renewed sense of wonder and connection to spring up in you. It’s time for your body to feel like home. It’s time for you to have greater experiences in your body than you thought were possible. It’s time to feel more awake, satisfied, open, and passionate.
What is the Love and Making It eCourse all about?
Well, sex, mostly. And your body. And your fears. And your marriage. And your sense of humor. And how sex can actually be medicine and dessert. How sex can be more than an obligation or something you do when you love someone and are not currently angry with them… How you can feel sexy and fulfilled NOW in THIS BODY.
It’s time to love your body. It’s just time.
It’s time to look forward to having sex with your husband. It’s just time.
It’s time to learn ways to overcome the obstacles in your sex life. It’s just time.
It’s time to switch from fixing yourself to enjoying yourself. It’s just time.
We spend so much time, money and energy trying to get fit, get smart, get holy, get beautiful… Get through it, Get over it, Get it out of the way.
This class is different. This class is not about getting – although you will get some. This class is about being given gifts.
You will be given gifts. The gifts of FREEDOM, SEX, BEAUTY, SAFETY, COURAGE, PLAY… you will finally own your body and sensuality in a way that allows you to give your whole self – not out of obligation or routine – but out of a bubbling, joyful, sexy desire to share.
In the body you have RIGHT NOW, you can feel beautiful and have truly great sex.
Do not let fear or busyness stop you from receiving this gift.
After years of research and indepth conversations with 100’s of women, I know this class, and the space it creates, literally changes lives and marriages… not because I am awesome (which we can discuss further) but because this way of looking at our sexuality and our bodies works. This is not a prescription, it is a new description of how all of this is meant to be – how we were designed for so much more {in bed}.
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A few words from past classmates:
“I think the thing about this class that has given me the most hope is that there is no assumption that some people will never get there, which is the message often given. Here, it has always been ‘Yes you can. And here’s how. And it will be uncomfortable but keep going.'”
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“He looked at me and said, “I’m SO glad you are taking this class. Because no matter how many times I tell you these things, I know you can’t hear them from me. I’m so glad you’ve heard them from Nicole.” We went on to have the most amazing, connected time together ever. EVER. I’m celebrating because even though there have been high highs and low lows throughout this course, we have never had a dialogue that open about this, and I have never felt so connected to him and to my body before.”
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“So even though I knew we were both so exhausted, I said to my husband, “Can we go to bed together tonight?” and when he asked why I said, “I really need to feel connected to you tonight, I really need to have sex and be held and know we’re in this together” and I was super nervous, but he didn’t shame me or question it or anything. We just put our laptops away and went to bed. And last night nothing changed with our situation, but something holy happened. I felt connected and known by my hubs in a new way. I finally got what Nicole’s been talking about when she says sex can be therapy and healing.”
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“I have waited for these words for ten years. Asked the question “what in the world is sex? Why would God make it? What does it have to do with his heart??” It always seemed a separate thing from him, from relationship with him. Shocking, yes. But I’m ready to engage it. Thank you.”
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“Nicole, I hope you plan on offering this regularly! My husband and I do premarital mentoring at our church and I just suggested your course as a resource for our ladies.”
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“This is epic….transformational!”
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“And then after we made love last night and were laying there a realization hit me. I told him that I feel as if I am waking up from a long sleep. That my whole body has been asleep, numb, and that I feel connected to myself again. Being awake is wonderful!”
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“My husband said Nicole is a genius!”
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“Nicole that is a huge breakthrough. Huge. Your influence led to REAL, practical, hands on healing.”
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“I was raw. I told him what I was missing and needed. We decided to give ourselves permission to laugh in bed as we navigate our physical challenges. We are just now getting out of bed and one of his last comments was “thank you for being brave and telling me what you were feeling. I think this is a new day for us.”
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“Your love and making it series is setting me free. My husband has never felt so loved and frankly I have never been more satisfied. I think this is your gift. I want you to talk about bodies and sex all day every day because your truth is seriously beautiful and deeply needed.”
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If you think the church only gave you instructions on how to NOT have sex, but never the tools to help you LOVE sex, take this course with me.
If you need a reboot in your sex life, take this course.
If you love your husband more than life, but still don’t always look forward to having sex, take this course.
If you need a safe community of women to talk with about sex and body challenges, take this course.
If you want to find new, fun ways to make sex hot, take this course.
If you want to turn to your husband in a few weeks and say, “Honey, I have a headache. Can we please have sex?” Take this course.
HOW WE WILL DO THIS THING beginning April 10th:
28 Days of PASSIONALS (A Worksheet/Love Letters to inspire and challenge and ignite you… Think of it like a waterfall of new, beautiful ways to see yourself and sex.)
4 Live Video Workshops where we discuss the Passionals and other issues that have come up in your class. (Recorded in case you miss any.)
A Secret Facebook group where we will cheer each other on, laugh, share our stories and basically talk daily about all the amazing things you are doing throughout the month.
**After you sign up, you will also have the chance to sign up for a one-on-one coaching call with Nicole**
THE COST:
For the 28 days of Passionals, workshops and daily support the class price is $65.
As with all my courses, there are a few scholarships available. Please send an email to 1000strands@gmail.com if you want to apply for a scholarship.
WHAT TO DO NOW:
SIGN UP TODAY. Use the button below to go to Paypal and please fill out the form below with the email you use on FB so I can add you to the cozy secret group. Any questions? Email me at 1000strands@gmail.com
Love and Making It – the eCoursecurrently at full speed – is changing my life more than I thought possible because it is changing the lives of the women who took a giant step of bravery and signed up. We are asking hard questions and connecting with our spouses. We are cheering for each other, praying for each other, and laughing HARD with each other. Most of all, though, people are finding hope.
“My husband has never felt so loved and frankly I have never been more satisfied.”
“The very thing that has caused so much pain and fear could be the method by which those wounds are healed. whoa.”
(And that is just a couple comments. I am floored by the amazing things happening in this course.)
Thank you to everyone who has expressed interest in taking the next course AND to the single women who have told me I MUST include them next time… AS YOU WISH.
LOVE AND MAKING IT – a course on feeling brave and beautiful {in bed} will start another round in the spring. (Read about it here and here)
BABES IN GODLAND – a course on feeling brave and beautiful {in your body}. We will focus on feeling alive, well-made, beautiful, and sensual regardless of relationship status.
There are so many messages we have learned about what “sexy” is and how we are supposed to act as women and as people pursuing the mysteries of God. These classes are a call to freedom and healing for our WHOLE selves.
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“I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” – Pablo Neruda
I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My beloved is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” Song of Solomon 5:2
We think we have to love our bodies in order to really enjoy sex. But…
What if we had sex in order to enjoy our bodies?
What if our marriage {bed} could be the place where we bring our whole selves, without fear or pretense, to experience freedom, fun, excitement, healing, passion, and beauty… LIFE to the Fullest?
What if you were allowed to feel beautiful in bed?
After talking with hundreds of women about this topic (online, in small groups, around dinner tables, in secret FB groups, and even on stage) I can tell you without a doubt that women, especially Christian women, are not at home in their bodies and not enjoying sex the way we could. I bet that doesn’t surprise you. We know we are not happy in our bodies. We know we drag ourselves to “business time” kinds of love making. We adore our husbands, but sex is just… complicated.
We go into the nights of our marriages with a familiar conversation between ourselves and our spouses… sometimes these happen out loud with the actual husband… sometimes they are all in our minds.
“Hello, I am me. The me that you married. Still me. I didn’t magically grow breasts or lose weight since last time we met here.”
“Hello, I know. I like you.”
“I’m all you’ve got, I suppose. Wanna have sex? I hear you like sex because, you know, you are a male. And I’m your only option. Sorry about that. Here. Here’s my body. Let’s do something with it, but I’m tired so please don’t take too long. And please ignore the ugly parts so you can get turned on and I can feel like a good wife. Ok? Bring the lubricant.”
There’s so much more for us! It does not have to stay that way! It can get so much better! Mind-blowingly better.
Join me for 28 days of support, counseling, laughs, hands-on activities, and soul-searching. In the end, you will feel more convinced than ever (maybe even for the first time) that YOUR BODY is BEAUTIFUL and the link between your body and your soul is much stronger than you knew.
You get to create your own world where YOU are the definition of beautiful. YOU are the definition of sexy. Your spouse is the definition of sexy! You are not his consolation prize. You are spectacular.
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This February, choose love for yourself and for your spouse. Come, spend a month with us as we learn to love this body and love with this body. It’s time to come alive {in bed}
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Love and Making It is designed to:
*Help identify what keeps us from enjoying sex
*Inspire us to excavate our desires and passions
*Free us from the lies we believe about our beauty and worth
*Give us tools and practices to help us find our BRAVE in bed
*Tattoo truths on our hearts so we never again forget how BEAUTIFUL we are
*extra bonus: Your husband will be very, very, very grateful and happy.
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WHEN: February 1-28, 2014
WHAT: Daily inspiration and prompts from Nicole. A specifically designed, confidential FB group for community and support. Three group video conference calls with everyone who can make it, designed to encourage and challenge. One heart-to-heart with just Nicole.
WHO: Married women will get the most out of this course, but all are welcome.
PRICE: $28, Honesty, a Sense of Humor, CONFIDENTIALITY (there are 2 scholarships available for the money. No one can give you humor or integrity)
28 days – designed to provide a new freedom and beauty {in bed} for $28
(CLASS IS NOW CLOSED. A NEW CLASS WILL START IN THE SPRING. EMAIL 1000STRANDS@GMAIL.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.)
HERE’S HOW TO SIGN UP:
1. Pay through Paypal.
2. Send me an email at 1000strands@gmail.com letting me know you paid and MOST IMPORTANTLY with the email address you use on Facebook so I can find you and add you to the group.
Once you sign up, you will soon receive a welcome email from me and an invitation to the secret FB group that will start to heat up on January 31st. Be sure to send me an email at 1000strands@gmail.com with your name and Facebook email address.
I will close the sign ups on February 1st or when we reach our maximum. I want to know each woman and talk to every one of you one-on-one so the class will be limited. SIGN UP TODAY!
**Plus! Because of a generous donor, we have 2 scholarships so please email me if you’re stuck in a really rough patch. (1000strands@gmail.com subject line “Love and Making It Scholarship)
