Beauty SOS47

Write 31 Days 2015

Hi Friends! Welcome.
Take a slow, deep breath.
Count to 4 as you inhale.
Hold all that breath in your lungs as you count to 4 again.
Then, when you are ready, breathe out slowly and fully.
Welcome to this space. It is as much yours as it is mine. May it be a rest when you need it + a kick in the butt when you need that too. All these tiny pixels, created by fingers on keys, mean something to me + I hope they mean something in your life too.

We will talk about bodies + souls here. We will talk about love + making it. I am a pastor, speaker, writer, and a sex educator.
So, now that I’ve made every possible person slightly uncomfortable, let’s see what good we can do in this uncharted territory. Please proceed wisely and know your own boundaries. love, Nicole
Body full of Soul is a series inspired by the annual Write 31 Days venture.
Everything is Connected. We are whole beings and it matters what you do with your body and how you think about your body.
Let’s set aside a little time each day in October to give attention to the miracle of being human.  We are made of stardust and the breath of God, after all.

All of the essays + pictures + sensual delights
will line up here for your attention.

C.S. Lewis Said Something – on having and being

Touch Me, Please, So You Can Touch Me – on angels and animals

Imagination and Kissing – Anais Nin and me

Good Night’s Sleep – relaxing

Pique Your Curiosity – on Parker Palmer and the wildness of your soul

Prayer for Love – seeing with new eyes and closeness of heart

Life is a Freakin Miracle – presence and a Bible reading just for you

Get […]

Quickie 3

quick thoughts…to help you get in the mood for love…
Hugging Causes Love
Stand close to me.
Wrap your living arms around me
and I’ll wrap mine around you.
Until our torsos press together so soundly
that our hearts can whisper in each others ears.
Hug me til I’m real,
til the day releases me into your custody.
Even the monks do it.
They say it causes love
forgiveness too.
We are both here,
maybe we should try it.



Previous Quickie Thought to help you get in the mood.

Quickie 2

quickie thought #2… talking to myself again…
Your fat cells cannot keep the love out.
Love penetrates.
You, my Darling, act like fat destroys Love –
like Love will disintegrate upon contact.
How weak and fragile you imagine It.
Love knows no destruction, fear, or preference
for which kinds of cells it touches.
As long as those cells carry the distinct signature inside
that reads, “You” … then they are each perfect. 

 Previous Quickie Thoughts to help you get in the mood for love.


Quickie 1

quickie thoughts…talking to myself again….

oh, hello, Body.
Tell me what you want. All of it.
I will listen and not laugh or judge.
I can’t promise to give you everything you want, but I will sit and wish with you.
Just because you want it doesn’t mean you’ll get it, but I sure do love to hear what you like and dream with you.
I’m sorry about the times in the past that I left this important middle part out – this part where I just wish and listen. I thought if I knew what you wanted I would have to give it to you. I didn’t realize the glory in just knowing and listening and waiting.
So, tell me, what do you want. All of it.

Boudoir Pictures Story

Why take boudoir pictures?
How to make taking boudoir pictures great?
What to look for in a great photographer?
Boudoir Pictures. Why take them?
There are lots of reasons people do the things they do… but why on earth would an ordinary, smart person dress up in lingerie and try to be sexy for a professional photographer?
It’s similar to why people run marathons.
You could just run, you know. You don’t have to pay anyone to let you run 26.2 miles. You can do that stuff for free! Running is free!
People sign up for marathons because it is a measurable goal (and it’s kinda cool to run in the middle of an empty street). More importantly, it’s a powerful experience to work hard and do something that scares you AND have other people helping and cheering you on.
well… in regards to boudoir photos…it’s kinda the same thing.
You can be naked or even partially naked for FREE! You get that body for free! (well, most people do)
You don’t even have to pay anyone to take pictures of you. You probably have a phone with a selfie camera. You can hold that sucker just right and get a pretty good shot of your booty or smile or cleavage. It can be pretty powerful to take a picture and find your face or body attractive – especially when it is not an easy, natural decision for you to be in pictures.
I know, we’ve all seen so many women’s ridiculous selfies that we are pretty turned off to the idea, BUT you could take pictures of yourself and feel empowered and beautiful. It’s possible.
Don’t let other people’s drama reduce your story.

(keep reading, I think this part is kinda helpful)
So, on a personal level, why […]

The Best Reasons to Take Boudoir Pictures

Hi there, Loves!
Boudoir Pictures are like tattoos. It seems like everyone’s getting them.
But, why? And what is the BEST reason to take Boudoir Photos? Didn’t your mom warn you never to have naked pictures taken?
Well, if you do them for the right reasons, they cannot be used against you.
The best reason to have professional boudoir pictures taken is FOR YOU. When you get them for you, they take on deeper significance and empowerment.

Let’s talk about 3 purely personal reasons you might take boudoir photos:

Each step of the process requires bravery and vulnerability and those things = WINNING AT LIFE. There’s a sense of accomplishment that you did something scary, like jumping off a high dive or running a marathon.

Boudoir pictures place you and your body in an arena only “sexy” people can go, so your brain must wrestle with believing YOU are sexy. In the process of taking the photos, you will think about your sensuality and how you can see yourself as beautiful in empowering ways.

God sees you as “all beautiful” and these pictures are a spiritual exercise in believing Him. You act on the truth of your beauty and you have physical proof of your faith.

Sit down, relax, and let me tell you a story.

Once there was a girl who didn’t like her body. She didn’t like the look of it. It wasn’t what she ordered. 
She tried and tried to love it and take care of it, but it never quite fit.  She’d all but given up, when one day she was reading and came upon a message that changed everything: 

“All beautiful you are, my darling, there is no flaw in you.”
Song of Solomon 4:7

You should know, she was a girl who believed in God – a God […]

Beauty Manifesto

My friend,
I have to tell you that you are beautiful. I have to. It’s almost as strong a desire as the one to tell you that you are loved.
You are Beautiful.
You are Loved.
Your worth and the permission to move through the world freely come from these two things and they can never be taken away from you.
You have been beautiful from the day you were born. Glorious skin and eyes wrapped snuggly around a soul. Muscles learning to smile and grab. Neurons firing and a brain learning. A divine miracle.

You’ve never lost any of that glory. It’s with you now. It’s been with you through all the horribly awkward years of puberty and dawning sexuality. You never lost it. You were beautiful then and you are beautiful now.
Perception is everything, isn’t it?
For long enough, we have allowed the developing, immature tastes of teenage boys and girls to define for all of us what beauty in a human looks like. Do you see that we still do this? Free-flowing, unorganized hormones and cutthroat social hierarchies do not get the final word on who is beautiful.
It’s absurd to exclude any human from their place in creation as a miraculous, breathtaking beauty.
So, it is time to go back to the source. My friend, no matter what age you are…
“All beautiful you are my darling, there is no flaw in you.” Song of Songs 4:7

And why does beauty matter?
Because it does. Beauty has mattered since the beginning of creation. Beauty matters to us and to the One who creates it all.
Beauty has it’s own kind of meaning, doesn’t it?
Simply to have beauty is enough reason to exist. We love beautiful things. Beauty draws us in. We pursue it […]

By |April 14th, 2015|Beauty SOS47|0 Comments|

Wild and Precious Life

sometimes, I wake up already feeling behind.
when this happens, I let the wisdom in my pen speak truth.
What will you do with your one wild and precious life?
You woke up this morning already listing the ways you will fail – the tasks that will meet resistance and never reach the finish line. You lay, covered in clean sheets and painless skin, and yet you felt strangling discomfort in your soul.
Why, Darling?
Why have you forgotten your place? You are a child – a wild, lovely, free child – living in the world run by the most loving and responsible Parent in the world.
So, what will you do with your one wild and precious life?
or rather
What ARE YOU DOING with it? You can only live right now.
Landsliding to-do lists and performance reviews care for the future, but what are you doing to care for right now? Set time aside to tend the future – a set time to let your mind wander into next month and next year and even this afternoon. Carve out time-travel appointments, but do not forget to come back to this time and this place…this is where you actually live, My Love.
You are a flower, growing for such a short time. Be here. Growth and beauty and achievement will come as you soak up sun, water, and nutrients. Feel the strain and sensation of now – know that it is leading somewhere but that “somewhere” is none of your concern. Take each next step.
The act of attention is a form of prayer.
You’ll be surprised to find that as you witness the universe, the universe notices you right back. This is the glory of a loving Creator.

The Summer Day
by Mary Oliver
Who made the world?

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Love and Making It
is about to start a new season
Hey, my friend! It’s time for us to start something new together. 
At one point or another you’ve read the blog, seen me speak live, or taken an ecourse and I want to THANK YOU for that. Thank you for joining me here. Thank you for being brave enough to even start reading and thinking about how to make your life better, braver, and more beautiful … even IN bed.  This is my passion = helping you find your passion.  
I am floored by the good work I’ve been lucky enough to see some of you do. You’ve been brave. You’ve literally changed your marriages and lives by engaging with the heart and soul of LOVE AND MAKING IT. Thank you for letting me share in a little of your awesomeness!
I am reminded that we all need this place… even when we are busy, actually, because we are busy. We need reminders everyday to take good care of our love-lives, because it’s a strong current pulling us back to confusion, ambivalence, fear, dislike, and exhaustion.
There are so many forces pushing us away from healthy sex lives.  Health is a constant practice, we can’t work out one day and expect to be fit forever. We can’t read one good article about sex and expect our sex lives to be healthy. This is a practice. 
And so here we are, about to start a new season.  This year I have more content and more bravery of my own and I am excited to share it all with you, but you know it’s more than just the content here – it’s about action and new ways of training our thinking about our bodies. 
My goal this […]

I Dare You to Look

I dare you to look in the mirror and see beauty; see a face that God loves and made.
God loves your face. You are allowed to love your face too.
There has been a lot written about fasting from mirrors. Good challenges have come from good people to help end our obsession with mirrors and just go throughout our days without looking at ourselves constantly. These challenges can have important freeing effects for us as we try to stop obsessing about our flaws, but the mirror and the looking is NOT the problem. It’s always the motivations behind the actions that matter. 

We may fast from mirrors as a way to realign ourselves with the issues inside these bodies – the issues in our souls about worth and narcissism and the tension-filled dance we all move through each day…
We may fast from “looking” at ourselves so that the next time we look, we look with love and acceptance instead of obsession and self-loathing…
But we do not fast from mirrors because looking at ourselves is somehow less holy or less healthy than ignoring our outsides. It is not shallow to love your surface area.
In this culture, where a specific kind of beauty is power, there is nothing more Jesus-like or revolutionary than loving YOUR OWN face, no matter how it compares to anyone else’s. This is the upside down kingdom of God – where everyone is beautiful, even you. (Even if you don’t believe in God, trusting in the abundance and beauty of all people is powerful.}
Looking at your own face as a spiritual practice is a powerful rebellion.
I dare you to look in the mirror and LOVE your face.
Love your face, not […]

By |April 6th, 2014|Beauty SOS47|2 Comments|