1000 Strands

Everything is connected

Posts Tagged ‘Gratitude’

Let’s Celebrate Life

Posted by Nicole on January 31, 2013

When you go to Disneyland, you can ask for a big button to wear all day. It will say “It’s My Birthday!” or “Let’s Celebrate!”  And you can fill in your name underneath or write what you are celebrating: “Anniversary” or “Graduation”. Then everyone who works at Disneyland will see your button and comment and welcome you.

“Happy Birthday, Princess!”

“Happy Anniversary!”

We live near Disneyland and go often.  The other day my little girls and I were walking through the huge plaza full of people as another woman walking towards us caught my eye.  She wore a “Let’s Celebrate” pin, crew-neck t-shirt, big white sneakers and high-waisted shorts;  Typical, comfy, I’m on vacation from rural (fill in a state) attire.  I always think about the people at Disneyland as they walk past us. Is this their first time?  Are they spending 3 years’ savings to make these memories with their families at Disneyland?  What’s her story?

Then, as this particular woman moved nearer to us, I looked closely at her button and saw that it said “Let’s Celebrate… LIFE.” Instantly, all the details I had subconsciously noticed about her came into focus:  Comfy clothes. Thin, short, newly-grown-in gray hair. Pale and slightly puffy face…  New cancer survivor. Laughing with her friends. Walking through the Disneyland plaza. Celebrating LIFE.  Smiling at me as she passed.  She’s on a LIFE.

 

Life.  I want to be on a LIFE. Let’s celebrate… LIFE.

“Happy LIFE, Princess!”

 

So, step one of going on a LIFE – what that woman in big, white sneakers and high-waisted shorts wore all over her gorgeous face: Gratitude. For Everything. For Life Itself.

(pause.)

Gratitude.  It only happens in this exact moment.

 

What makes a LIFE? How does a person permanently change, ditch the Die ette, find gratitude, or even choose a new path without using fear, peer pressure, strict rules, pre-made meals, a personal trainer and a nanny?  How do we combine all the things we currently want into one nice life where everything fits and we’re happy about it?

LIFE is in our habits. In the moment-to-moment choices. This is who we are. Whether it’s what we eat, watch, say, do… We ARE our little decisions. It’s so hard to celebrate life when our little choices keep veering off course.  It’s so hard to feel really alive when my little choices – my little steps – keep taking me further away from the life I want. Do you ever feel that way?  You want something so much and yet you continue to take little, tiny steps away?

This is why DIE-ettes don’t help. They are temporary black & white fixes to life-long, complex issues and goals.

I am done pushing and striving to follow a short-term, fix-me-quick die-ette. Spending so much time researching, trying, failing, being on day 3 for the 100th time, judging results … I am looking down and forgetting to look up with gratitude.   Gratitude that I am alive.

Now, I am done with DIE-ettes BUT the issue is still here. I am still not living Life to the fullest, healthiest, most vibrant standards and I know it because I feel conflicted. I want things that contradict each other.  I want pizza and a flat tummy. I want a deep connection to God and to watch The Bachelor.

This year I am going to get deep down in this messy little spirit and body of mine and try to get to the HEART of why I choose little DIE-ettes instead of LIFE.  I am going to stop surviving and start living.

Will you join me?  Whether you read this today or a year from when I’ve written these words, I am throwing out a strand your way.  Grab hold. Let’s go on a LIFE.

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Capturing Memories

Posted by Nicole on February 8, 2012

This was a beautiful day. Kids became wild cats with a little make-up. Blankets flew. Tiny feet jumped and twirled. Skin lovingly touched skin in hugs and kisses. Just one of those days God gives you to keep you going. Priceless.

But I only remember it because I have photos to jog my memory.  How many others have I enjoyed and now they’re gone forever?

“The saddest part about life is you don’t remember half of it. You don’t even remember half of half of it. Not even a tiny percentage, if you want to know the truth.  I have this friend Bob who writes down everything he remembers. If he remembers dropping an ice cream cone on his lap when he was seven, he’ll write it down.  The last time I talked to Bob, he had written more than five hundred pages of memories.  He’s the only guy I know who remembers his life. He said he captures memories because if he forgets them, it’s as though they didn’t happen; it’s as though he hadn’t lived the parts he doesn’t remember”

– A MILLION MILES

“It’s as though he hadn’t lived the parts he doesn’t remember.”  That line breaks my heart.

Every, every minute of life is precious – a gift from God. Yet, I forget pretty much every one of my lovingly-lived minutes before the week is through.  Why is that? I hunger and thirst to capture each exquisite moment with my little kids and with my husband and with my friends.  But. I can’t. They are gone. Lived and loved and gone.

But I have hope that God is remembering it all for me.  Maybe life is like a movie and He’s the cinematographer and director. I’ll get to watch the movie with him when we are together someday.  It’ll be one of our date nights.  God and I will snuggle on the couch… me curled up next to Him… I bet he smells amazing… and we’ll watch the show.  We’ll laugh and he’ll show me his favorite parts (he’ll have 1000’s).  I’ll jump up at times – remembering something fabulous for the first time since it originally happened.  I’ll look over at him and he’ll laugh and smile at me with more love and understanding than I thought possible – and I’ll curl back into him for a thousand hours more.  We’ll cry together too – parts will be tragic. It may hurt a little, but this time, like in any well-told story – the saddest parts will provide the meaning and the power that make the triumphant and sweet parts so special.

I cling to that hope.  In the meantime, what do we do to help us remember? I thank God for the pictures I manage to take of moments I LOVED and would just not remember otherwise.  I try to journal. I have friends with better memories than me who help out.  It’s a big question in my life.   I struggle with the tension of loving and then releasing each moment as I live it. What about you?

-Nicole

 

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