Archive for July, 2013
Helen of Troy
Posted by Nicole on July 22, 2013
Brighter art thou than flaming Jupiter
“I realized that searching for a mentor has become the professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming. We all grew up on the fairy tale “Seeping Beauty,” which instructs young women that if they just wait for their prince to arrive, they will be kissed and whisked away on a white horse to live happily ever after. Now young women are told that if they can just find the right mentor, they will be pushed up the ladder and whisked away to the corner office to live happily ever after.
“It’s a cultural instinct to wait to get picked. To seek out the permission and authority that comes from a publisher or talk show host or even a blogger saying, “I pick you.” Once you reject that impulse and realize that no one is going to select you–that Prince Charming has chosen another house–then you can actually get to work… No one is going to pick you.
Posted in Beauty SOS47 | Tagged: adventure, beauty, dreams, helen of troy | 7 Comments »
Outer Beauty
Posted by Nicole on July 19, 2013
I’m developing an allergy.
I get itchy just thinking about it.
I kept getting these rashes and I had no idea why. I’ve eaten this stuff all my life… loved it, told others to eat it. But, now… I’m allergic. And I’m done.
Have you ever eaten this stuff??
A big ol’ bowl of “She’s beautiful on the inside“
(scratch scratch scratch)
“Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face. It’s about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and most importantly a beautiful soul.”
“Beauty fades, Sweetheart, but stupid is forever.”
“Even when your beauty fades with age, you’re still glamorous at heart.”
I can’t breathe. WHERE’S MY EPIPEN!
I’m dying here, people. Dying. That old lady IS BEAUTIFUL. Her beauty did not fade!!! She is beautiful and glamorous inside AND OUT.
What if we could see that beauty does not fade?
This takes redefining “beauty” to a larger definition than just smooth skin and perky breasts. To be clear, I am not talking about moving beauty away from those things. Smooth skin is beautiful. Perky breasts are beautiful. No one is able to look away from a set of perky, soft breasts. They speak comfort and some kind of magic wonder, like almost nothing else. We were all babies at one point. Breasts are awesome. {{Tangent}}
What if we could work together to expand the edges of the Land of Beautiful? One person at a time… Starting with the next woman you see who doesn’t give you that sugar-fix of pretty we are use to – take the time to readjust your brain and see her as beautiful, equal in worth and beauty to the next woman and the next.
We have such limited palates when it comes to beauty. Our tastes are so narrow. And we are missing out on some of the best people God has ever created.
Those amazing people are beautiful on the inside, and we can appreciate them for that, BUT we cannot forget that they are whole people. God made ALL of that person, her beautiful face and her beautiful soul. When we disregard the outer beauty of someone, we disregard an integral part of who they are. This causes a lot of pain.
Can I say that again? This causes a lot of pain, separating a soul from her body. Saying someone has a beautiful soul and that their outer beauty doesn’t matter or will fade or is shallow (or isn’t good enough to count), forces that soul to pull away from her body, the one she is made to love and care for and enjoy.
The soul pulls away, and both the body and soul suffer. I use to think this was holy, to see people’s hearts as beautiful and “see past” their outer appearance. Now, I am realizing how wrong that was. Now, I am realizing I must learn to really SEE all of them as beautiful. Beauty originates from the core of a person but it absolutely does not end there – it spreads to every inch of their body.
“Beauty is simply reality seen with the eyes of love”
What if we learned to see that beauty has everything to do with our faces & bodies AND our hearts, minds & souls. The reality of WHOLE Beauty. What if we loved the whole person, inside and out, and were able to see their whole beauty?
Well, this would lead to improvement in every area of life. Sex would improve a lot. If women believed they were beautiful as they are, not some second-rate booby-prize their man is stuck with… If men learned to see women as whole, beautiful people, not a dessert to satisfy a craving…
This could improve they way we treat each other across races. If we could see beauty IN people’s skin and faces, rather than waiting for a magical day when we “get past” appearance and see their hearts…. If we could equally value all kinds of beauty…
Now, I am an idealist. Yep. Sure am. And I know this is crazy talk.
Who cares? Isn’t this also the way it SHOULD be? AND isn’t the job of everyone who believes in God and believes in a better way, to bring light into dark and more of heaven to earth?
So, I will back up just a tad and say today, start with yourself and with a woman you love. Remind yourself and her that she is altogether beautiful with a beauty that does not fade. Whole beauty.
“You are altogether beautiful, My Darling, beautiful in every way.” SOS 4:7
-Nicole
Posted in Beauty SOS47 | Tagged: beauty, sos47, whole | 4 Comments »
Hi Mom!
Posted by Nicole on July 15, 2013
When your mom reads your blog, you realize a few things…
The person with the biggest love and biggest hopes for you is here. She’s reading. She’s cheering. She’s feeling it at levels you don’t even feel it.
She’s a lot like God, my mom. And God is like my mom.
See it started when I wrote this piece on beauty.
And then my mom wrote this comment:
“There has always been a beauty about you that is stunning to me, both outside and inside. Your beauty physically is touching precious and great. Your eyes shine such a light. Your skin is like silk and your face brightens a room. And then from the inside your essence takes my breath away. The beauty formed escapes from you and makes everyone around you feel more beautiful, more full of life. I have felt blessed to have been given the gift of your life being, to have seen and known such a touch of pure heaven. And yes your daughter also stuns me at times when I look at her. I think how can someone actually be that beautiful. She has yet to fully know and shine her light, but she is blessed by a beauty that I do not think will ever diminish, only excel. Sometimes it is scary just how beautiful she is, and yet so real and so talented in her expression and the truth of her being. Some of that thanks to you and some thanks to the touch of God.”
THIS.
This is what my mom does for me. She’s a lot like God. And, God is a lot like my mom.
If God is real and cares about us as a parent, then it follows that God loves and hopes and cheers even louder than the best mom on earth.
God goes to the soccer games and spelling bees. God hopes we feed ourselves healthy food. God watches us grow with pride. God reads all our essays and looks over every inch of our finger paintings with patient interest. God sees precious beauty and brilliance in us. We bring God great joy.
It’s a funny thing to reread “I almost never feel beautiful” knowing that my mom is reading it as well, and knowing her heart for me… how ridiculous a phrase that must be to my mom. It’s like telling her I can’t get my feet to stick to the ground — very clearly to her, gravity and beauty are holding me just right.
Now, I imagine God reading those words as I write them, and knowing God’s heart for me… how ridiculous a phrase that must be to God. It’s like telling him I am floating off the earth. “Gravity refuses to hold me, God!” — very clearly to God, gravity and beauty are holding me just right.
This does not only apply to me, Friend. You are NOT disqualified from this amazing reality… this TRUE perspective. You are beautiful… and none of this just beautiful-on-the-Inside crap. You are beautiful on the outside too.
Gravity and beauty are holding you just right.
*********
Now, I don’t know your mom. For some of you, just talking about moms is painful. This is part of why I long so deeply for women to actually like other women. We can be love and hope and encouragement for each other, if we can stop competing and critiquing. We can be God’s tangible love and powerful motherly care. And this we MUST be for each other, Friends. I wrote about beauty for the Wild Gosling’s book before I knew what God was doing in my spirit… this Holy Discontent being stirred… this emergency message I must send out for myself and my friends who are going to drown.
It’s an SOS.
We are lost at sea. We gave our compass to a cute boy in 7th grade and we must find our way back to shore using the heavens to guide us. Somehow we were tricked into believing a loving mom’s opinion didn’t matter as much as that guy in biology. We belittle her truth by mocking and disregarding, “My mom says I’m pretty…” (read in sarcastic font). Do not do this any longer. Do not do this to God… “God says I’m pretty…” God’s opinion does not matter less than some confused and distracted man’s opinion of you – or any woman’s either.
Anyone who disagrees with God on this is just wrong.
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
beautiful in every way.” Song of Songs 4:7
So, tonight, let these words be to you from God – however you can receive them… I believe there are no mistakes in life and that if your eyes are following these letters on this screen, somehow these words are also meant for you.
“There has always been a beauty about you that is stunning to me, both outside and inside. Your beauty physically is touching precious and great. Your eyes shine such a light. Your skin is like silk and your face brightens a room. And then from the inside your essence takes my breath away. The beauty formed escapes from you and makes everyone around you feel more beautiful, more full of life. I have felt blessed to have been given the gift of your life being, to have seen and known such a touch of pure heaven. … I think how can someone actually be that beautiful. You have yet to fully know and shine your full light, but you are blessed by a beauty that I do not think will ever diminish, only excel. Sometimes it is scary just how beautiful you are, and yet so real and so talented in you expression and the truth of your being. I love you.”
Much love, Beautiful.
Posted in Beauty SOS47, Free Flying Faith | 4 Comments »
Beautiful Women SOS
Posted by Nicole on July 11, 2013
I could tell you that you are beautiful…
but what would be the point of that?
You might believe me for a moment, but the first light breeze would blow that sucker right off
or
You’d think I was just saying it to make conversation
or
You’d think I was an idiot
It’s ok. I know. I’ve done it.
In the past, when someone told me I was beautiful, I too was faced with a swift moral dilemma, because either that person was a Liar OR they had terrible taste and my opinion of them needed to go down a couple steps.
My husband says I am beautiful. After almost 14 years of marriage, I must ignore my moral dilemmas here. Usually, I accept his compliments as a gift from God; that my husband has some kind of magic God-filter on his eyes. This is good, the God-filter.
But I don’t feel it. The words fly at me and they bounce off, like I have a force field against compliments. They can’t get in.
I do not, absolutely do not, almost never ever, feel beautiful. Do you?
Over the last few years, God has grabbed my heart on this issue, but I had to work on myself before I could start to speak it – write it – heal it in others. I knew I needed to. I am a mother and a leader. Like so many of you, I long to make the world more whole, more alive, more true – more aware of God in ALL things. Brandy Patterson Walker is a woman fighting and leading the way into a wilder, more loving and free Way. As I was working on a piece for a her new book, “WILD GOSLINGS: engaging with kids in the mysteries of god” Brandy asked what I most want children (and those who teach and raise and love them) to know. I’ve worked with kids and adults through all kinds of creative endeavors for years, and I’ve learned that no matter how much someone loves God, no matter how beautiful the things they create for Him; if they do not love the things God has made (including themselves), they cannot fully love God.
So, what did I want to contribute to WILD GOSLINGS?
THIS:
As part of renewing the ways we see God, we must also renew the ways we see ourselves: Beautiful and Right.
**********
My daughter has a freckle on her cheek. Oh, how I love that freckle; it signifies all that is right in the world. Beauty boiled down into one small speck on one small girl.
I see her beauty. I have seen her beauty from the day she was born.
I expected my newborn baby to look, well, a little weird. They usually do, don’t they? They look like strange, little misshapen aliens. (It’s ok, we are friends, you can admit it.) So, when my first baby was born, I was going to be objective. I was ready to see her strangeness and love her anyway – cone head, smooshed face, whatever! I would be the mother who was “honest” about my baby.
And then I saw her… we were both exhausted as our eyes met. I opened my mouth to speak and I couldn’t hide my surprise. The first words I directed towards that precious miracle were, “OH You ARE cute!” (amen. #motheroftheyear )
And she was. The truth of her beauty was undeniable to me. From the moment of her birth, she has been beautiful and getting more beautiful by the day…
but there’s a looming tragedy on its way and I know it.
Someday she will be ugly. Someday she will be lumpy. I may sound terrible, but how many people have you thought looked ugly or weird or too fat or too skinny or something was wrong with their hair or face or body? 100’s and that’s being polite.
And every single one of those people was the daughter or son of Someone.
Someday my beautiful daughter will walk into a party and be eyed by 20 girls and 20 guys who will all judge and assess and critique and categorize her.
{{{{ Just writing those words makes my lungs close in on themselves. }}}}
And she will learn the “truth” that she is deeply flawed. This will be a tragedy and a lie from the actual pit of hell.
She will go home and look in the mirror with new eyes. No longer will she see the gorgeous creation she was as a child – made perfectly by a loving God, precious and beautiful and free. With disappointment and probably hate, she will see her face, her body, and she will never be the same.
I cannot let this happen. If this was a train, I would throw myself in front of it to save her. If this was a lion, I would fight it with my bare hands. If this was poison, I would drink so she could live. But, it’s more insidious than those things. This is 100000000’s of lies and creepy virtual insects crawling into our homes, our mirrors, our minds.
We cannot let this happen to our kids. And we MUST start with realizing we cannot let this keep happening to ourselves.
I was not more beautiful as a child than I am now. My daughters are not more beautiful than me. We are not more beautiful at 1 or 5 or 8 than we are at 11 or 25 or 58. We have allowed ourselves to be lied to for too long. The truth is here and we must choose to believe it; for the sake of all the babies.
This is my new Start. This is what I am willing to fight for – for my children and for us to know that our beauty didn’t fade. We are all children of God: beautiful and right. Believing the truth of our beauty is not an end or a way to just feel better about ourselves. This is the beginning of knowing God and the powerful people we are meant to be.
“All beautiful you are, My Darling. There is no flaw in you.” Song of Songs 4:7
You are beautiful. All Beautiful. Believe it.
Will you help me spread this truth? Can you believe you are beautiful? –Even one small part? Can you help a friend see her own beauty today?
I am putting out an SOS. We will call it #sos47 and my prayer is that it will be more contagious than all the judgement and false “perfection” we have been sick with.
Also!! I could not be more excited and proud of Brandy’s new book and all the contributors; a group of people giving time and talent to making connections across beliefs and topics… Being brave enough to engage in the mysteries and wildness of God – with and for our children.
Wild Goslings will be published July 15th.
by Brandy Walker
Posted in Beauty SOS47 | Tagged: beautiful, beauty, women | 8 Comments »