Posts Tagged ‘create’

Jealousy Remedy

Posted by Nicole on June 28, 2013

www.ohsheglows.com

The Interwebs of Jealousy.

The more active you become online the more overwhelming it can become. I look at Pinterest and the world of blogs and it sure seems like there’s a huge movement of women and men taking it upon themselves to be amazing.

Let’s take just one topic, for instance: FOOD

“Talented Girl’s” evening…
Organic, home-grown, or farmers-market-bought produce… fresh salads, home-made salad dressing… and for dessert she grinds up those almonds herself to make that almond butter and drizzle in dark chocolate made from local, small-farm ingredients. Oh, and, side-note, when she purchased the block of chocolate, she also somehow helped save starving children in Guatemala. She took crisp-focus pictures from multiple angles at every step of the process and put it all on Pinterest, Tweeted it, posted it on her Blog, and on Instagram too – ending with a beautiful picture of beautiful kids in a beautiful backyard under homemade bunting.

Oh, the foodporn! Oh, the earth-helping, child-saving glory!!

Delicious. Real food. Made from scratch with no processed ingredients. I am beyond jealous. Not only do I WANT the food in my mouth but I also want to have made it, grown it, taken such pretty pictures of my creation that others pin it repeatedly, and written eloquently about it all so someone else (NOT ME) could be jealous.

well…

I guess I could take pictures of the Trader Joe’s Orange Chicken we ate last night. I could take a picture as I pull it out of the TJs freezer it grew in. I could talk about how the cold bag kept my ice cream from melting in the car. I could take extreme close-ups with my phone as I rip open the bag with my bare hands and each little chunk of beige chicken cascades onto the cookie sheet.

I could write about my children and how they most enjoy jumping up and slapping their tiny butts during dinner, rather than posing under homemade chevron-covered flags and bunting…. the four-year-old yelling things like, “Oh, Sexy Boy!!” “Boooty!” (#motheroftheyear)

But, that’s only impressive to a select group of people.

**********

How does a regular person compete with all the genius going on online? Because it is in EVERY area of life. It is organization, business savvy, branding, art, children, spirituality, fitness, and everything else anyone can become a genius at.

Before all of this, we each lived with the nagging thought that we might not be the “best.” I might not be good enough. We had an inkling that there was probably someone smarter and better out there doing what we try to do.

But Now… Now, we can find concrete evidence of our mediocrity within minutes.

Right now, I literally have 10 tabs open in my browser of blogs and things I think are awesome.

Here’s some:

http://sarahbessey.com/

http://squeeinc.com/

http://ohsheglows.com/

http://eloranicole.com/

http://catalogliving.net/

http://www.aholyexperience.com/

http://www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

http://www.sevenly.org

And that’s just to name a few. I am overwhelmed by the giftedness of the human race. People want to help each other. People write about what matters to them. People create, laugh, eat, strategize, build, write and share. People are amazing, brave & creative.

And

jealous.

Not just a little

a lot.

Wrestling with jealousy is like hitting yourself in the face and expecting to feel so much better.

I do not feel better. I see your brilliance and I feel small.

So, how do I deal with it?

I could drink and laugh and fall asleep… which is tempting but overdone. OR (and this is a challenging OR)

When I fall into this whirlwind of my needs and desire, I could ask them hard questions like I know I should…

Why am I jealous? What am I missing or falsely believing…

Because if the things I wrote and created were LIKED by more people, then would I feel like my life was well-spent?

Because I am unsure?

Because I want to make a BIG difference in people’s lives?

Because I hope my life helps people see God?

Because what is the point of working or striving or caring unless it reaches lots of people?

Because there is a heat that drives me to write and create but it’s not the same if no one knows I’m doing it?

Because I want to connect?

And now, I must FACE THE FEARS…

The scary things chase me and I run.

Must. Turn around. And face the scary things. Face them down. Call them out of the darkness and into the light.

MONSTER: So, what if you write and no one ever cares? If no one reads your writings, was it worth leaving your kids for the evening? … Worth their questions of, “Why can’t you just stay home? Can’t you work next to me here? Don’t leave me!”

When I face a monster, the hero in me must stand up….

HERO: Listen, can you believe in a God who values the sparrow no human ever sees or cares about? And let it be enough for you? Can you live your life – passionately and honestly – as an offering to your Creator, no matter who else ever sees? Can you listen to your passions and act?

Can I be God’s sparrow?

Building nests.

Chirping to myself and the air

Flying! A miracle no one may ever see

But a miracle meant for me and my Creator.

Flying with my God…

My, God! How I missed it!

I am flying. And I’m missing the miracle. When you are FLYING, who cares if anyone else sees!?!

It is incredibly challenging to enjoy the genius of others and still allow our own lives to matter – for a creator and artist, especially. But flying is flying and I cannot let myself or anyone who happens upon this little collection of words to waste another day. At the end of this era of my life, when I am older and my abilities have changed, I never want to look back and remember how wasted my wings were.

It all matters. Everything we create, everything we do, every word we say to ourselves and another human being …. the sparrow’s morning flight and mine.

Dear Friend! Whatever is holding you back, the idea that lots of other people are already doing what you might want to be doing… who cares? No bird sees others up in the sky and thinks, “Oh well, someone got there first.” Other birds flying do not diminish your own miracle.

If you want to fly, FLY. There is room in the sky.

-Nicole

For more on motivation, community, inspiration, jealousy, struggles — all the good stuff that goes along with creating and dreaming.
Check out these previous posts…

A Cold Cup of Water

Create for the One

Girl in the Windbox

Posted in Free Flying Faith, How Can I Help | Tagged: create, fly, hope, jealousy | 4 Comments »

A Cold Cup of Water (maybe with some fruit?)

Posted by Nicole on June 25, 2013

Have you ever wandered into a desert-time in your life?

If you are like me, it happened slowly; so slowly you didn’t notice the landscape growing more and more arid. One day you looked up, confused, wondering where you were and suddenly feeling very alone, very vulnerable, and very thirsty.

A glass of cool water on a hot day is like pure life soaking back into your cells. Dehydration can kill a girl. Steal her voice. Make her weak.

This entire year, I have been dying of thirst in my own desert-time. My throat parched and scratchy, I wandered, a little lost and a little plain-old sad, not knowing what to do next but knowing I couldn’t survive on my own any longer.

I’m a speaker and a writer and my throat got so dry that I simply lost my voice. I don’t mean literally, I could still speak if I had to, barely, but the words that mattered could no longer get out of me. Fear and confusion gripped my heart.

Then I heard it, a voice calling out offering fresh water! Water in the form of possible guidance and community for a career I longed to pursue with renewed passion.

I followed that voice with every ounce of strength and bravery I had left.

And I made it. I made it.

When I arrived, I didn’t just find a glass of water from a new friend, I fell into a river.

I fell into a river of hope, support, love, prayer, acceptance and power – an entire tribe of thirsty women wetting their whistles, finding their voices, and learning to sing again.

That strong, clear voice calling me to the river belonged to a woman named, Elora Nicole. A writer and a woman of valor, Elora reached out with her friendship and her Story Unfolding community & online classes. Elora builds community and platforms for other women to stand on. She introduced me to like-minded people and reintroduced me to my own abilities and strength. She gave me not just a cup of cold water but a living river, by reminding me that I have a source of water and life to offer the world AND THE WORLD NEEDS IT.

You have a source of water and life to offer and the world needs it! You are needed in the world.

**********

One of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had occurred during a high school drama field trip. No, not that kind of “beautiful experience” – stay with me, here.

We all sat in a room, at least 300 of us. The class was on “using your voice.” Once we were all seated, the instructor asked us to each take a deep, deep breath. Hold it. Hold it. Then, let it out with whatever note our body naturally chose. As 300 people breathed in unison and then allowed their voices to harmonize instinctually as the air escaped back into the atmosphere, the sound was electric. The walls vibrated. Our bones shook; not because it was loud, but because it was right. It was just right to hear everyone together.

All of us singing together, this is what the world needs.

We cannot sing when we are scared and thirsty and wandering the desert, but once we find water and wet our parched throats, we must share.

We must share our water so that others can sing too.

It is right to hear everyone singing together.

Elora’s favorite commands to her story classes include SING LOUDER and KEEP SINGING. Every time I read those words, that old Sesame Street song pops into my head.

Sing

Sing a song

Make it simple

To last your whole life long

Don’t worry that it’s not good enough

For anyone else to hear

Sing

Sing a song

–Sesame Street

Are you questioning your voice and song? Or to put it another way, are you questioning your purpose, value and career?

Please take this glass of water and hydrate, Friend.

You are a completely necessary part of the world. Your voice matters in the big, giant scheme of things. Ten people may run past your glass of water. You may start to feel useless and annoying, calling out to the thirsty and reaching out with your cup. But, don’t give up. I am so grateful Elora didn’t give up before I heard her voice.

You matter but there is no rush, when you are ready and hydrated yourself, stand up and hold out a glass for the next girl. (Get on here and write a post for Leona!)

Elora and all of the women I now pray, cheer, laugh, cry, and sing with everyday through the Story Unfolding community don’t give up on me. When I am thirsty and have lost my way, there is always a hand with a cup of water just waiting for me.

I now hold out a cold glass until someone else needs it. If my arm gets tired, if 100 people run on by, I keep holding out my cup until someone takes it, because the one woman who eventually drinks … it could save her life.

Do you know what you really offer someone when you hand them water? You offer them a moment when someone thought they were worth keeping alive. With each glass of water, you save a life. Don’t worry about the 10s who don’t need your water, focus on the ones who desperately do.

Listen to your calling and pursue it with everything you’ve got. There is someone like me and like you, who desperately needs your exact cup of water. Don’t give up until they get a nice, cold drink.

-Nicole

***This post is part of a series over at Leona Laurie’s place. “Cold Cups of Water” are essays from women about moments in their lives when another woman offered a “cup of cold water” that saved them or changed their lives or helped them progress to the next level– or when they did the same for someone else. This series documents the value and importance of taking the risk and speaking up about what you have to offer.*** CHECK IT OUT HERE!

Elora Nicole is a story teller and all-around champion of women and writers. Go to http://thestoryunfolding.com to find out more about her online community and classes. You can also find her at www.eloranicole.com

Posted in How Can I Help, Wonderful Wrestlings | Tagged: art, career, create, help, women, write | 3 Comments »

Create for the One

Posted by Nicole on June 24, 2013

Life is like one big TJ Maxx. And it can kill a creative person’s hope.

TJ Maxx: a large store where you can go to find a robe, a toaster, cheap hand-weights, olive oil, and a bedazzled sweatshirt all in one trip. The racks are stuffed full as far as the eye can see.

…TJ Maxx, I cannot handle you sometimes. You’re too much. I don’t understand how all that stuff got there and I don’t understand why you put those Crocs right by the BCBG neon-orange purse.

I know some of you LOVE TJ Maxx and God bless you! I walk into a discount store like that and my eyesight begins to blur. So. Many. Choices.

And as I walk, zombie-like, running my hands over things without seeing… I begin to contemplate the universe.

What about the people who designed all those clothes? Those artists and designers, producers and manufacturers? IS this what they dreamed? Did they hope someday their velvet pants would be stuffed into a crowded rack in TJ Maxx?

I imagine that each item of clothing was a battle to dream up, design, sell, produce, distribute… How did that ripped-and-also-sequined sweatshirt end up in this TJ Maxx? What’s your story, sweat-shirt?? Someone loved you once!

No one item is treated as special or important in these stores. You have to be willing to hunt and peck and search and dive to find something. It’s amazing that people are still willing to create and sell and give their lives to making things.

It is amazing that we are still driven to create in our overcrowded world, where all of Life is like a TJ Maxx: full of hidden treasures, chaotic, a little dirty. We can feel small and lost and yet the passion to create simply doesn’t go away.

Have you ever searched through Google, Blogger, Tumblr, or WordPress and thought, “This is crazy. There’s so much here!” I could read day and night and never read all the good and great blogs out there.

If you are a blogger, writer and artist, have you ever felt like, “What’s the point?” Why write ONE MORE BLOG? Who is it even for? It’s already way too crowded up in here!! Blogs about food, running, God, gods, sex, fashion, moms, work, and men …. anything you want, there’s already a blog about it.

And this goes for EVERYONE – all who create, write, craft, teach, speak… we’ve all heard “there’s nothing new under the sun” but now we can go online and SEE ALL of the stuff other people already did.

It can kill a person’s inspiration – to feel like a copy before you even start.

Sometimes it’d be better just to not know what else is out there so you can live in ignorant bliss… writing away about the most “delicious brownies” and “how to take great pictures of your kids” and “how to be happier always” as if NO ONE EVER had given this perfect tip or made that awesome craft. But, they have. They already gave it/made it/wrote it/wore it. And it’s all stuffed into that Internet in the air.

Why make one more thing? Why speak one more word?

Are you haunted, like I am, by the abundance of voices, books, art, paintings, bands, blogs, pictures….. already out there? Does it stifle your own creative process? Do you ever feel like one very small voice in a very loud, crowded room?

Well, here’s the good news.

You are. You are one tiny voice in a very crowded room.

And this has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you should create new things, write new words, sing new songs.

We create because ONE matters.

Each one matters. After 1000’s upon 1000’s of sunsets, I still hope to see another one. Some days, I don’t care much about the sunset. On other days, I stand on the beach and watch every single second. Whether I watch or not, the sun will set. And the one I watch, well, at times I remember a sunset being the only moment in a day to give me hope and strength to go on.

We need infinite sunsets across infinite horizons to reach each one of us on the day we need a reminder that life goes on. Fleeting, moving, beauty, perfectly timed, is God’s specialty.

For the one teenager who walks past the dress you designed, create.

For the one mom up at 3a reading your blog while feeding her sick baby, write.

For the one person who wanders over and finds your comfy, bedazzled sweatshirt, make.

For the frustrated cook who learns how to make good brownies from your recipe, cook.

For the one.

What one person creates; it matters. What one person hangs on a rack; it matters.

Your voice, your creation, your day – however it was spent. It matters.

So, what do we do when the desire to create lives and kicks and calls and drives us to DO and MAKE… but it still feels pointless and overcrowded?

Honestly, friends, freakin’ do it anyway. Just do it anyway.

For the ONE. For the one human and the ONE GOD, if you have the faith and even if you don’t. No sunset is wasted on God.

Do it anyway. Get up and do it anyway. Do it anyway.

Do it. Do it. Do.

Do it. Post it. Draw it. Sew it. Cook it. Paint it. Write it. Dance it. Sing it. Build it.

Get even better and do it again. We can all hang on the rack together. All of us, one right after the other, like sunsets all in a row.

For the ONE who will see yours and find hope.

Posted in Wonderful Wrestlings | Tagged: art, create, write | 2 Comments »

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