… aka…Holiday Magic…in bed.

People want to be special and powerful.  We want to surprise and delight. We want to be magic.

It’s ok, you can admit it.

We each dream of being able to access magic, because “magic” does not always mean spooky mind-bending or casting spells.  This kind of magic is not anti-God.  Magic is when time stands still.  The kind of magic we want to be a part of is when God shows up in us and we feel loved. 

MAGIC is: a quality that makes something seem removed from everyday life, esp. in a way that gives delight.

Magic is the MORE the SPECIAL the DIVINE. Magic is that moment when we have taken someone’s breath away, inspired, and saved. Magic is when this happens to us.

To harness immortal, divine power bigger than ourselves and grab on as it pulls us from the dull normalcy of our existence – this is what we desire as human beings. We long for magic to be IN us.  We are made of spirit and dust; made to feel the Divine coursing through our veins, but most of our days are covered in dust.

We are consumed by bad jokes, computer screens, carpools, and calendars.

We can never quite access the power and beauty in the magic of life from underneath the mounds of dust.

Except in rare moments.

Art and music give this experience to the artists. The masters can dance or sing or play and experience being a conduit for the divine.

Mothers and fathers experience magic. Children are wide open life-forces for the Spirit of God and eternity and breath to come rushing through.

But nothing is like sex… well, not just sex… Sex between people in love who are committed to each other’s GOOD.  And then, when that kind of commitment and love are set on fire, that is magic.  When the eye-contact that punches your gut becomes a kiss that melts all your frozen parts… when your commitment to this one person is not just symbolic but literal…  Falling in love doesn’t hold a candle to creating it.

Together with one more soul we bring excitement, faith, joy, depth, and passion like we never see in the plain world of the day-to-day. It’s beyond us and yet OF us. We are special. We are magic. 

It requires bravery and trust, understanding and a willingness to play…. Not just all that, it takes fortitude and perseverance and creativity and a wicked sense of humor. 

Nothing else is as powerful or fun as laying ourselves bare in 1,000 different ways with one person doing the same.


Now, I realize this is absurd to some people. It is either an unattainable ideal or a laughably old-fashioned concept: sex as an ongoing, magical, powerful experience with only one person forever and ever.  

For you, my friends, who see how it may be absurd but still want it anyway… this is the place for you.

For you, my friends, who see so many images of so many people all day long that you never have sex without their pictures in your head… this is the place for you. 

For you, my friends, who have so much love for your spouse that you overflow with gratitude but still avoid sex whenever possible… this is the place for you.

For you, my friends, who look forward every day to getting in bed every night… this is the place for you.


This morning, the morning after Halloween, begins the holiday season. We will probably spend a lot of time and money looking for some holiday magic in these next couple of months.

Here, at 1000 strands, we will find some magic of our own. “Love & Making It” will continue – The Hot Holidays Edition.

I’m inviting some of the writers I trust to speak about their lives – about making love, about the struggles, triumphs, frustration, and magic.  We will speak honestly about how to improve our lives in bed… how to grab hold of some magic. We will bring both the positive and negative sides of our sex lives into the open: Learning ways to have fun, develop a taste for new things, and embrace the roller coaster risk of sex AND still address the hard things too as we wade through issues with porn, body image, or physical limitations.


And in the end, I hope we all find some holiday cheer… in bed.